Concussion

This is what I posted to FB on Sunday:

Recently, Stow joined student council and has been very excited to help with events. He’s proud of being a good and thoughtful worker. After volunteering for one event on Friday, he eagerly asked if he could work at another event last night.

 
While he was working, another kid came and hit him hard on the head with a heavy bag full of candy. At first he thought it was an accident, but then the girl left, came back, and hit him again. The THIRD time she came back and hit him, he got dizzy and felt like he was going to pass out. He told an adult what happened and then called me panicked, saying he didn’t understand what he did wrong.

 
The PTO parents handled the situation very well. They communicated what happened to me and also tracked down the child who did this (even though he didn’t know who it was because she was in costume). They called her mom and the parents of the girl who put her up to it and made sure that the girls understood their behavior was unacceptable and that it would be reported to the school. The one who hit Stow was someone he thought of as a friend; the other one has been mean to him and has tattled on him when he has perseverated about how she treats him. Apparently the one who hit Stow 1) didn’t realize it wasn’t funny to him, and 2) didn’t realize the other girl dislikes him and was setting her up.

 
The upshot, though, is that he left what should have been a fun and confidence-building experience injured and had to spend hours in the ER last night. He has a level 2 concussion and can’t do anything today. His head still hurts and lights and noise make it worse. All he can do is stay in bed in his darkened room. He’s missing the youth group trip to the corn maze and won’t be able to game with his friends or do any physical activity for at least several days.

I used the brush tool to cover Ren's face per his request. Sorry it's a bit creepy looking!

 

And, he still doesn’t get why someone would be mean to him when he did nothing to provoke it and also didn’t react when he was hit.

I spend hours working with the school to advocate for Stow and to make sure that he is being supported. He spends hours with therapists and the school social workers trying to better understand how to interact with his neurotypical peers because he wants to be friends with them. He puts in so much work, but still this kind of crap happens. Kids who are different are disliked and even targeted for things that are part of their disability.

 
Please teach your kids to be kind to the weird kid and to stand up for them when someone is being mean or trying to trick them into getting in trouble. All the work we do as a family to support our kids isn’t enough. Teachers and counselors can’t control how other kids treat my kid, and some days it completely breaks my heart.

*****

So, it has been a hard week. I'm still working through it, both personally and as his parent and advocate. For now, I just wanted to share this. He's back at school, finally, but he isn't able to manage going to class or the cafeteria or anywhere but a quiet room, where he sits alone, and I am angry that the thoughtless actions of others had done this to him.

Not Kevin

For years Falcon has been campaigning for a third cat. Once Shiro (our golden retriever service dog) joined us, she doubled down, insisting that Shiro needed a friend. Momo, our 7-year-old calico, and Taro, our 5-year old gray-blue cat, want nothing to do with Shiro. Since Shiro seems to have zero ability to be cool or chill, she consistently succeeds at fully irritating the cats. The always reticent Taro won't even be in the same room when Shiro isn't crated, and Momo has dealt with Shiro's boundless joy by clearly asserting her dominance. Whenever Shiro tries to say hello with a nose boop, she gets a cat-paw thwap on the head in return. 

Shiro demonstrating her lack of chill.

Thwap

For almost as long as Falcon has wanted a cat, I've wanted a cat named Kevin. Momo, Taro, and Kevin just has such an amazing ring to it. Momo, Taro, Shiro, and Kevin. 

Timid Taro

Momo doesn't need you

Recently Falcon had to have some blood drawn. Since she has an extreme needle phobia, having blood drawn is no easy feat. Every time she has to do something that requires a needle to pierce her skin, she asks me if I will give her another cat. I always say no. But the last blood test was different. First, Falcon asked me to take her to get it; I make it a point not to force her to have things done to her body without her permission, so I'd been waiting to get this one done for a few months. How do I make sure she is as healthy as she can be without forcing her? It's a difficult line to walk, but she has always come around to blood draws and shots on her own eventually (though sometimes with a lot of strong encouragement from me). This time, there was no cajoling. 

Second, even though the draw happened at a place where Falcon had one of her worst blood-draw experiences ever (they restrained her in something that looked a lot like a straightjacket), she walked into that lab like a champ. And, even though the phlebotomist decided that the best conversation topic to distract her was FOOD ALLERGIES and how sorry she felt for kids who have food allergies and especially for kids with PEANUT allergies,*** Falcon kept her cool. When the phlebotomist got a "bad" vein and had to try again on the other arm, though, the traumatizing allergy conversation started to get to Falcon. By the time the blood was drawn, she was positively pale, blue almost. Immediately, her body reacted to the stress by making her throw up. 

As the mom of a kid who struggles with this particular phobia, I couldn't imagine a worse scenario. How would I EVER convince Falcon to have blood drawn again? Of course, I left that experience praying she wouldn't need blood drawn for a long, long time. The universe didn't comply, though. It turns out Falcon is going to need more blood tests and probably fairly regularly. Not long before I had to give her that news, I decided it was time to get Kevin.

The hiccup, of course, is that I had to convince Ren that this was a good idea. He understood my motivation but also wondered why we needed another cat. He's sure he is the one who spends the most time caring for them (he's not). It took about three days for him to come around, and as soon as he gave the slightest indication that he would support the idea, Falcon and I were in the car on our way to the Humane Society. 

That's how cats come into our lives. 

We had a particular cat in mind when we got there, but the place was packed and the lines long, so we were sure she'd be gone. Both of us had a hard time being patient as we waited. When we finally got to the front of the line, we were thrilled to learn the cat was still there and that there was still enough time before they closed for us to see if she was the one for us.

She was.

But, apparently she isn't a Kevin. I mean, I campaigned HARD, but sometimes no one else in my family gets my sense of humor. Birdie was a close second choice for me, but that also got shot down. So, meet Bunny Pearl. She's named after the shiba-inu we had when we lived in Japan.

Bunny P

She seems right at home in MY CHAIR

Considering the fact that we were a pet-less family for more than 10 years, I find it pretty funny that we have so many animals living with us now. Just imagine how much vacuuming Ren has to do!

***For those who haven't been long-time readers: Falcon has many serious food allergies, including to peanuts.  Link and link.