Pink P for Pope

I think Pink P might have designs on becoming pope. I mean, look at the mitre she made for herself at school today in anticipation of an announcement from the conclave. (If none of that sentence made sense to you, you might not be Catholic or send your kids to Catholic school like I do. Just Google it. I won't judge.)

If Pink P was pope, all papal announcements would be preceded by pink smoke billowing out from a great inferno buried deep in the Sistine Chapel (I'm not sure how many ballots she thinks were cast, but obviously, it's a lot). 

In Pink P's Sistine Chapel there would be an enticing super-fast purple waterslide that would trick bad guys into slipping right to their doom in the raging pink and purple flames. For fun, little girls would hang out giggling on a cross while all the boys look up in awe: "Dude, how'd she get all the way up there?" they'd say.  Or maybe they'd just wind up  and throw giant invisible Nerf balls at the girls like they're playing dodgeball (I'm not quite sure what those kids in the picture are doing, but it looks fun).  Fortunately, though, the Sistine Chapel would never get gloomy. How could it with a huge pink sunflower to welcome guests and an ornate candy-striped door reminiscent of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory?

I was going to write something else, but really, the mitre speaks for itself. Besides, after that whole Lent-Diet-Coke debacle (you can read about it here and here), it might be good to cut down on the sacrilege.