Summer Epic Saga, Part 1

It's June 10th. That means we're ten days deep into the kids' summer vacation. Ten days. Then why does it feel like I've lived through an epic saga? No, really. I need someone to explain it to me. How is it that these last ten days have felt more like a thousand?

Looking back, I guess there might be a good explanation for this.

First, there was the garage sale. For reasons not entirely clear to me, I decided to have my get-rid-of-as-much-as-possible-before-moving garage sale the first weekend of June. This coincided nicely with the last week of school and Pink P's dance recital. Being new to the whole dance-mom thing, it never occurred to me that I'd spend three nights the last week of school sitting in the auditorium trying to keep a preschooler occupied while we waited.

You know what keeps little girls quiet? Minnie Mouse on the iPhone.

Have you ever watched preschoolers dance together on stage? It's kind of like a game of telephone. Whichever kid performs with the most conviction starts to influence the dance moves of those around her. In turn, those kids influence the kids nearest them. Then, the first kid, who was probably doing okay initially, realizes everyone else is doing something different and starts to imitate the girls next to her. By the end of the dance all the girls have stopped and are chewing nervously on their fingernails. It happens almost every time. Someone should study this, really. I think it'd make a great dissertation topic. And I'm totally qualified to choose your dissertation topic since I already wrote one. That's how it works.

The garage sale started early the morning after the dance recital, so I stayed up until 2 a.m. getting ready for it and then spent about 10 hours each day that weekend manning the sale. Fortunately, Big Sissy came down to help. Turns out she may have missed her calling as a retail associate. That girl could sell you a box of old receipts if she wanted to. In the end, we sold about 80% of the stuff we wanted to get out of our lives. Though we did have a couple of unfortunate hangers-on. Does anyone want an old computer monitor that weighs approximately 6 tons or queen-size box springs? They're free! All you have to do is come pick them up.

Shhh, don't tell Ren I sold his spice rack. You know, the one he never used that took up valuable counter space.

Garage sales always turn out to be pretty educational. As usual, I was reminded that people will buy just about anything if it's priced right. I sold a collapsible wardrobe that was missing its cover, and Big Sissy sold a window decorating kit straight from the 1970s. Interestingly, people had trouble thinking outside the box. No one wanted my out-of-season Halloween costumes or Christmas dishes. And one couple decided against my box springs because "they needed a mattress, too." (If anyone can explain that logic to me, I'd appreciate it!) And, while the grandmother who aggressively whipped her grandson in front of my children made me wonder about the future of humanity, the three boys (age 7, 11, and 16) buying baby clothes gave me hope. They were taking advantage of the nationwide rummage sale that happened to be running through our town to buy little boy clothes for their uncle who was about to become a father. Have you ever seen three kids shopping for baby clothes? No? Me, neither. It was super sweet and not a little heart-breaking.

Nothing like a garage sale to help you realize you may need to learn to let go sooner next time.

So, we survived the first weekend of summer vacation. Just 12 more weekends to go!

Epic Summer Part 2
Epic Summer Part 3
Epic Summer Part 4