Bracelets for Brothers

When I started this blog a few years ago, I kind of worried that I would run out of post topics. That was before I realized that our lives, in all their insanity, have a way of keeping the interest level high. They also have an odd way of repeating themselves.

Today, I have this out again.

If you remember the a post I wrote just about 10 months ago, you know that this means Ren is headed in for another surgery. It's an odd kind of life when major surgery becomes old hat, but that's where we are with it. Today, he has another spine surgery, but this time, instead of his lumbar spine, they will be working on his neck. Supposedly, this is easier and the recovery is faster. For now, all we are thinking about is the liminal space between now and whatever comes after.

In case you're wondering, I'm wearing this.

Some surgeries I've opted for the responsible-adult look. Most, I've opted for comfort. Usually, this includes an inspirational t-shirt of some sort. Today, I thought I'd go for irony. It's funny how irony and humor work best in the midst of borderline tragedy. Maybe I should've been a writer.

Every day, now, I also wear this:

I bought this bracelet on June 23, 2014 at a department store near Kyoto station. It was Ren's brother's birthday. It was also the day he died. Two and a half months have passed since then, and given our distance as well as the surreal way in which he passed, I think neither Ren nor I are any closer to believing it. The bracelet helps me process it just a little.

Weird, I know.