Stow Takes Over the World

Well, the good news is that Ren figured out how to re-child-proof the pantry. It's not as easy as you'd think. Most of the traditional approaches haven't worked. One required grown-ups to pry the door open with the help of a small flathead screw driver. But even that plan failed when Stow found enough strength to bend the latch permanently. Ren even considered fitting the pantry with one of our old outside door knobs with its keyed lock. We couldn't remember where we'd put the keys, though, so that idea never really got off the ground.

Before Ren hit upon the current childproofing method, Stow managed to find the means and motivation to reach even the highest shelf in the pantry. He required constant supervision. One day, over the course of not all that many minutes, he stealthily ate half the contents of the second shelf. Fortunately, the food in the pantry is all dairy and gluten free. Unfortunately, in that brief unsupervised period, Stow managed to consume most of the cereal and at least two days worth of lunchbox fillers.

The child is relentless.

He also appears to be bottomless. As I type this, he is standing in front of me, eating a clementine he secured (by climbing up onto the counter) and peeled all by himself. He's telling me, "I eat fruit. Pon pon** feel better." A little while ago, he told me that his pon pon hurt and the only thing that would help it was apple sauce and possibly a granola bar. By the time I finish this paragraph, he will have peeled and eaten four clementines. Four.

Managing three energetic, curious, and often mischievous kids while also working and dealing with Ren's back issues hasn't been easy. Still, we trudge ahead. We've been very fortunate to have the help of friends and family. My parents came while we were at Mayo. Big Sissy came and stayed a few days the following week when I had to go to New York for a conference. One friend had them over for a play date. Another friend brought dinner. A third took them to the gym, the library, and out to eat, all so Ren could get a few hours off while I was gone. I'm glad for the help. Especially since without it, I'm pretty sure our toddler just might take over the world.

Case in point--the photo stream from my trip:

Washington Square Arch

Stow selfie?!?!!

Empire State Building

Not only can the kid take a selfie. He also seems to know how to independently change the iPad photo stream settings, inadvertently providing photographic evidence that you should always sleep with one eye open around Stow. Always.




**"Pon pon" is Japanese toddler-speak for stomach.

The Luck of the Leprechaun

This came home from school with Pink on Friday afternoon.

"Your homework assignment is to create a leprechaun trap to bring to school. We will set the traps out at the end of the day on Friday, March 14th to see if we can catch a clever leprechaun on Monday, March 17th.....Some helpful hints: color your trap green and decorate it with green items. Leprechauns like four leaf clovers, Lucky Charms,  Skittles, and rainbows..."

Do you ever feel like school is just making up things for kindergarteners to do for homework? I do. First, there was the turkey decorating, then the Christmas tree, then the 100th day of school homework, then Dr. Seuss's birthday (a whole week of activities) and now this. Normally, I wouldn't mind,* but this weekend Ren and I are getting ready to make a trip of undetermined length to the Mayo Clinic,** so I am a bit stressed with trying to get my work stuff in order, preparing everything to help my parents while they watch the kids, and packing for our trip.

Really, the last thing I need or want to think about is a leprechaun trap. It doesn't help that I was not blessed with any genetic predispositions toward crafting or creativity. When I mention that I think the assignment is silly since leprechauns aren't real, Pink interrupts me to explain that I am wrong and she knows I am wrong because their teacher would never tell them to make a trap for things that don't exist. I back pedal quickly, remembering that Pink's belief system is still fully intact (unlike her brother's), and reply, "Well, I guess they could be real. I've just never seen one."

After buying some St. Patrick's Day garland and raiding our craft stash, we came up with this (I knew those new shoe boxes from Stow's brace-friendly shoes would come in handy! I'm feeling pretty thankful for leftover sequins from the sensory boxes, too):

Pink feels certain no leprechaun is his right mind would skip this party. And, she knows the camouflage garland is sure to trick him right into that hole. I, on the other hand, feel pretty sure the whole thing may be destroyed before drop-off day (we've already had to make two repairs due to the antics of a certain curious two-year old), and even if it does, there's no way she's going to get it to school safely on the bus. Lucky for me, I guess, that's one problem I don't have to worry about (sorry, Mom and Dad!).

Wish us all luck!


UPDATE (3/17/14):

The leprechaun came to the classroom while the kids were at recess and damaged all of their boxes. WTH?


* Actually, that's not true. I tend to get annoyed by busy work that they can't do on their own and that has no educational value--not to mention "homework" that requires me to fabricate stories about make-believe green tricksters.

**In the interest of Ren's privacy, I'm not going to go into detail on this other than to say that the back still stinks and, well, we have to go to Mayo Clinic, so that should give you a pretty good idea of how things have been going.