An Ode to Sky on His Graduation

Sky started his school career by being kicked out of two different preschools because of his behavior. He could tell you what page of which book mentioned the thing you were talking about, but he didn’t understand it wasn’t ok to crash into other kids, run around his chair, or touch everything and everyone between his chair and the teacher’s desk. 

Once we had a diagnosis, we realized his sensory and auditory processing “disorders” meant that he experienced the world in a vastly different way than we did. That’s when we started along the path of helping him develop the tools he would need to be successful in a world that isn’t suited to him.  He spent hours in therapy learning how to interpret people’s words and facial expressions. We made social stories—so many social stories. 

It was amazing to see him start to thrive once people learned to speak his language. As he cracked the code of how the neurotypical world worked, he started to take off! By sixth grade, he was excelling academically and no longer needed an IEP. He also had a solid friend group (that he’s kept to this day.)

Then Covid happened. His sophomore year was an every other day schedule with him learning remotely one day and in the classroom the next. The teachers were figuring things out as they went along, and suddenly nothing was as clear as it used to be, making it impossible for him to understand how to apply all of the social and classroom rules he had worked so hard to memorize. 

He fought to continue doing what he’d been doing, but the wheels came off after the start of second semester. He began to struggle in classes and had to medically withdraw from some of them. It got to the point where he couldn’t go to school any more. He stopped talking to friends and couldn’t enjoy any of the things that used to make him so happy. There were many days during those long, horrible months where he wasn’t sure he would be able to finish high school. It was a tremendous blow for someone who had worked so hard for so long just to make school work for him. 

Ren and I struggled to help him and feared he wouldn’t find his way out. But he didn’t give up. Junior year was still really difficult. He couldn’t juggle as many activities as before. He had to be more careful to prevent himself from being overwhelmed. I had to learn not to push him (that one took me a long time to figure out). He found a combo of classes and activities that worked for him and slowly began to excel in his classes again. By senior year, he had regained his rhythm. 

Last month, he graduated Summa Cum Laude, and in the fall he heads to college with academic and art scholarships. But what makes us proudest is how he never quits. He is 100% Sky, and I’m so glad I’ve been able to go on this journey with him. 

When I started this blog more than ten years ago, I did it because I wasn’t at all sure how to be a good mom for Sky. It all felt so overwhelming, and the only thing I knew how to do was put one foot in front of the other and try to address issues as they arose. Along the way, I slowly (painfully slowly) learned how to get out of the way and let him show me what he needs. 

If you have time, I encourage you to go back to the beginning of the blog and look at how much this kid has changed. We’ve both have!