The Magic of Bunny Pearl

Every time we bring home a new cat, I'm always a bit amazed by how they seem to find their place in the ecosystem of the house. As everyone's new BFF, Bunny Pearl (who should have been named Kevin, or maybe Birdie) has taken this to a whole new level. 

Bunny P and Taro

Somehow she has managed to befriend all of the other animals in the house--even Momo who absolutely does not need (or want) your love, or your attention, or, really, even your existence. Bunny Pearl can get anyone to snuggle up to her. I was surprised when nervous Taro slept with her but absolutely astounded when Falcon sent a picture of her sleeping with MOMO. 

Bunny P and Momo

Not only do they all seem to like her, but Bunny Pearl has also helped them to start liking, or at least tolerating, each other. Before her, Momo never spent time near the dog and Taro wouldn't even come downstairs. Now we occasionally see all four of them hanging out with us in the living room in the evenings.

Taro!

Shiro loves having a little sister. Despite Shiro's complete lack of chill, Bunny Pearl stands her ground, unfazed when the dog licks her face or barrels into her. Both of them meet me at the door when I come home from work and follow me around until I've put my things away and changed my clothes. They won't leave me alone until they're sure they've received enough pets. Lately they seem to egg one another on. Both come running when they hear the ice maker or the air popper, and they fight over whatever I drop. Bunny P and Shiro take turns begging at the table all doe-eyed. And, since Bunny P gets on the counters, Shiro thinks she should, too. Double trouble.

Bunny P and Shiro

Honestly, though, the real Magic of Bunny Pearl is the enthusiasm with which she engages with humans. She likes to show off for guests. She waits just outside a closed door so she can catch us up on the latest news with her unrelenting meowing. She licks our faces (and hands and toes) like a dog who hasn't seen its owner in years. She prefers to be carried like baby. In fact, her favorite position is cradled in our arms with her head and feet dangling. I had no idea cats could be so floppy. 

Honestly, I'm not even sure Bunny Pearl is a cat. Maybe she's an angel who hasn't earned her wings, yet. That might explain why she falls off of things all the time! 

Not Kevin

For years Falcon has been campaigning for a third cat. Once Shiro (our golden retriever service dog) joined us, she doubled down, insisting that Shiro needed a friend. Momo, our 7-year-old calico, and Taro, our 5-year old gray-blue cat, want nothing to do with Shiro. Since Shiro seems to have zero ability to be cool or chill, she consistently succeeds at fully irritating the cats. The always reticent Taro won't even be in the same room when Shiro isn't crated, and Momo has dealt with Shiro's boundless joy by clearly asserting her dominance. Whenever Shiro tries to say hello with a nose boop, she gets a cat-paw thwap on the head in return. 

Shiro demonstrating her lack of chill.

Thwap

For almost as long as Falcon has wanted a cat, I've wanted a cat named Kevin. Momo, Taro, and Kevin just has such an amazing ring to it. Momo, Taro, Shiro, and Kevin. 

Timid Taro

Momo doesn't need you

Recently Falcon had to have some blood drawn. Since she has an extreme needle phobia, having blood drawn is no easy feat. Every time she has to do something that requires a needle to pierce her skin, she asks me if I will give her another cat. I always say no. But the last blood test was different. First, Falcon asked me to take her to get it; I make it a point not to force her to have things done to her body without her permission, so I'd been waiting to get this one done for a few months. How do I make sure she is as healthy as she can be without forcing her? It's a difficult line to walk, but she has always come around to blood draws and shots on her own eventually (though sometimes with a lot of strong encouragement from me). This time, there was no cajoling. 

Second, even though the draw happened at a place where Falcon had one of her worst blood-draw experiences ever (they restrained her in something that looked a lot like a straightjacket), she walked into that lab like a champ. And, even though the phlebotomist decided that the best conversation topic to distract her was FOOD ALLERGIES and how sorry she felt for kids who have food allergies and especially for kids with PEANUT allergies,*** Falcon kept her cool. When the phlebotomist got a "bad" vein and had to try again on the other arm, though, the traumatizing allergy conversation started to get to Falcon. By the time the blood was drawn, she was positively pale, blue almost. Immediately, her body reacted to the stress by making her throw up. 

As the mom of a kid who struggles with this particular phobia, I couldn't imagine a worse scenario. How would I EVER convince Falcon to have blood drawn again? Of course, I left that experience praying she wouldn't need blood drawn for a long, long time. The universe didn't comply, though. It turns out Falcon is going to need more blood tests and probably fairly regularly. Not long before I had to give her that news, I decided it was time to get Kevin.

The hiccup, of course, is that I had to convince Ren that this was a good idea. He understood my motivation but also wondered why we needed another cat. He's sure he is the one who spends the most time caring for them (he's not). It took about three days for him to come around, and as soon as he gave the slightest indication that he would support the idea, Falcon and I were in the car on our way to the Humane Society. 

That's how cats come into our lives. 

We had a particular cat in mind when we got there, but the place was packed and the lines long, so we were sure she'd be gone. Both of us had a hard time being patient as we waited. When we finally got to the front of the line, we were thrilled to learn the cat was still there and that there was still enough time before they closed for us to see if she was the one for us.

She was.

But, apparently she isn't a Kevin. I mean, I campaigned HARD, but sometimes no one else in my family gets my sense of humor. Birdie was a close second choice for me, but that also got shot down. So, meet Bunny Pearl. She's named after the shiba-inu we had when we lived in Japan.

Bunny P

She seems right at home in MY CHAIR

Considering the fact that we were a pet-less family for more than 10 years, I find it pretty funny that we have so many animals living with us now. Just imagine how much vacuuming Ren has to do!

***For those who haven't been long-time readers: Falcon has many serious food allergies, including to peanuts.  Link and link.

Dog Days

 Yesterday we celebrated Shiro's first birthday, and later this week will mark the three-month anniversary of her coming to live with us. My apologies for not keeping you up to date on how things are going. It turns out our life with a dog is even busier than our life without a dog! 

Happy Birthday, Shiro!

Shiro thought Halloween was pretty great except for the part where we kept wanting her to wear a hat. And, honestly, I don't know why I kept trying with the hat. A hat with the word "soy" on it doesn't make a whole lotta sense for some ebi (shrimp) sushi anyway. The kids were pushing for the avocado costume, which may have been cuter in the end, but we are a Japanese-American family, and somehow sushi made more sense to me. Our community held trick-or-treating on Saturday this year, so that meant even MORE kids for Shiro to smell and try to lick. My arms are still a little sore from our trip around the neighborhood.

Soy sauce dog

Shiro didn't love her costume, but she was a MUCH better sport about it than the cats were with their snail costume. They, at least, have more realistic expectations of us. Somehow we just can't keep ourselves from putting funny things on our pets' heads!

The indignities never stop.

We think that Shiro is being a pretty big help to Stow. Since she came, the number of phone calls from school has been close to zero. He hasn't resisted getting on the bus in the morning, and he is more willing leave the house for non-essential reasons.  We've been able to go shopping, for long drives, and even hikes with much less stress than in the past. When Stow is feeling overwhelmed, he is doing a good job of going to her or calling her to him so they can lie down together and help each other chill. All of these changes are huge. HUGE!

Co-regulation is the goal!

Sure, there are moments when he's hyper and she feeds off that energy so it feels like we have a tornado happening in our midst as we try to step in between or around dog and boy as they make their way through the house. And, sure, it's a bit of a drag to take her on long morning walks (to make sure she gets some of her energy out and does her business before getting on the school bus). Now that it's still dark and cold outside, the early morning outings feel especially challenging. We're still adjusting, though. 

Sunrise walk before school

Sometimes it's hard to get the pants where they need to go.

The cats still view Shiro as Enemy #1. Momo will tolerate her and even be in the same room as her as long as Shiro doesn't get too excited (which is REALLY HARD WHEN SHE JUST WANTS TO PLAY!!). Taro, on the other hand, refuses to even consider a truce. Lately he has taken to moving stealthily around the room like a commando, hiding behind furniture and slinking along the floor boards in an effort not to be noticed by the dog (who is so oblivious that it makes his efforts seem ludicrous). While it's fun to watch him, I do feel a little sorry for Shiro who JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS!!! We suspect that as long as Shiro interacts with the cats in all caps, there won't be much progress on their inter-species negotiations.

Three inches and a baby latch are all that separate Shiro from her unwilling partners.

So, that's the update from here. What's up with you guys?

ANSWERS TO ALL OF YOUR PRESSING QUESTIONS ABOUT REN

Some of you have asked how Ren is doing, which made me realize it’s been awhile since I’ve written a proper update. So, now I present to you, ANSWERS TO ALL OF YOUR PRESSING QUESTIONS ABOUT REN: 

Answer #1: First, and most importantly, vacuuming is still Ren’s life source. Or should I say life force?! I guess it’s probably both. The kids know if dad is vacuuming, all is well with the world, and if he’s not, well, something’s off. Some of you may call that an obsession. I call it the world’s easiest way to know if your spouse is feeling ok physically and mentally. And, I can tell you, Ren is feeling fine!

I’m not sure how SHIRO feels about Ren’s vacuuming habit, but I’ve got to admit, I’m a huge fan of the reduction in dog hair around the house. Given the fact that she dutifully comes and lies down next to him when he grabs the vacuum and the bag of dog treats, I’ve got to believe she doesn’t mind it too much!

Have I ever told you how good Ren is at getting animals to do what he wants them to do? Are we the only family with a cat that knows how to beg for food?

Answer #2: The spine is still in one piece. Well, actually, it’s in a lot of pieces, including a not insignificant quantity of extra titanium pieces! But, for now, the pieces are all where they belong. In fact, they’ve been in the right place for TWO WHOLE YEARS, which, trust me, in the world of spine surgeries feels like a blessed eternity. 

X-ray from Ren’s 2-year follow up appointment

We know that one day it is likely that what remains un-fused may go south like the rest of the spine did, but that day is not today. And, Ren is tremendously adept at making things work with the spine he has. The man has more overall flexibility than I do (darn him!), and aside from a few notable (and entertaining) exceptions (like swimming and being able to get himself out of a deep chair…and, oh yeah, the alpine slide), you would never know he’s had seven spine surgeries!

Answer #3: Ren’s playbook of luuuuv, a lifelong go-to source. How do I know he loves me? He makes my tea and picks up the dog poop. When it comes to words, though, his skills are less developed. I’ve been working on a translation guide:

Standard Japanese  /  Ren’s Japanese

 

Hello? (On the phone) / uhn

Welcome home (when I get home from work) / uhn

How was your day? / (silence)

Yes. (In response to a question, even if it’s not a yes-no question) / uhn

I read somewhere that the average number of words exchanged between a married Japanese couple in a day is well below 100 words. I don’t know if that’s true, and I can’t remember the exact number. I just remember thinking it was shockingly low. But then I started noticing how many words Ren actually says in a day. Many people say that a healthy relationship in Japan is one that requires few words. Lucky for us, then!!

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Shiro Goes to School

School started this week. Before we got Shiro, we weren't entirely certain we would try to send her to school with Stow right away. We wanted to be sure that they had good chemistry and that Stow wouldn't be distracted by her. As soon as the two of them met, though, we could see how she helps Stow regulate. So when the trainer came to work with us, we included a training session at his school in our schedule. 

In order to have a service dog at school, we needed to articulate specific tasks Shiro would do for Stow. For a visually impaired person or a person with epilepsy, it's perhaps easier to see the role a service animal can play. With autism, the support a dog can provide might be less obvious, so it took several conversations with the district to make sure that Shiro would actually be able to accompany Stow to school. Fortunately, when the director of special education saw him with Shiro, she immediately noticed just how much more confident and relaxed he seemed. Because she has worked with him since he was 3, she knows just how many human resource hours have gone into helping Stow regulate at school; I imagine it wasn't hard for her to appreciate the value in having Shiro there to help.

Checking out the building.

It took several conversations, some paperwork, advice sessions with the trainer, and a few phone calls to the bus company, but we finally got official permission for Shiro to go to school. The day before it started, we went to meet Stow's teacher and to introduce him to Shiro. He and Stow figured out what to do with her portable crate, where she would relieve herself, and where to put Stow's desk so Stow wouldn't be distracted and Shiro wouldn't distract others. Shiro and Stow walked the hallways with his case manager while I hung back and talked to his new teacher and the social worker. 

Heading to school.

The first day of school, Stow was up and ready to go well before the bus came. We made sure Shiro had an empty bladder, put her vest on her, and hooked her up to Stow. When the bus came, Stow went willingly and without anxiety. I had to lift and push Shiro onto the bus, though, because she was much less sure about the situation (she'd never ridden a school bus before). She came home at noon, and Stow came home at 3, and by all accounts, both of them had a great day. The second day, she went willingly onto the bus, and, other than a few hiccups (like Ren forgetting to go pick her up one day), it seems to be going really well.

Working hard at school.

People keep asking me if Shiro is helping Stow, as if she will bring some sudden and obvious change in his life. When I feel pressure to answer that question, to somehow justify all of the time and money that went into making this happen for him and our family, I get pretty anxious. I mean, it's not as if everything is magically better. But then I take a deep breath and notice that mornings have gone smoother; meltdowns have been shorter; and Stow has willingly and happily gone to school every day so far. Most importantly, Stow feels that Shiro makes things 100% easier for him. That's a huge improvement and something that we hope will lead to less stress, fewer intense moments at school, and increased independence for years to come.

Chilling after a long morning at work.

Training

After a ten-day adjustment period, Stow and Shiro started their official training this week. Day one got us off to a bumpy start when Shiro sneaked some food that Stow dropped on the floor at Qdoba and then vomited it up the middle of Costco. On the bright side, it wasn't runny, so it didn't go everywhere, but on the less bright side, there was SO MUCH of it and neither the trainer nor I had enough paper products in our bags to deal with it. Saying I needed to clean up a mess, I grabbed a handful of napkins from the nearest food sample station. The napkins were smaller than I expected, though, so I ended up taking more than was socially appropriate apparently, because as I walked away, I heard the employee muttering under her breath about my bad manners. 

Training.

Stop number two at Party City didn't go a whole lot better--well, ok, I guess it went better than dealing with a pile of vomit, but there was still a hiccup. When we rounded the corner in our search for birthday plates, Shiro started barking. Nothing sounds louder than a dog barking where they're not supposed to bark (except maybe your baby when it is crying on an airplane), so I was mortified. Turns out she was just really surprised by the giant cardboard stork at the end of the aisle (aren't we all?). I pretended not to know Stow and the trainer and went on with my shopping while they showed Shiro that the bird was not, in fact, real or dangerous. This is clearly why I am not the trainer.

Things have gotten easier each day. Stow and Shiro have trained on campus, at Farm and Fleet, at school, in Walmart, and pretty much anywhere else we can think of. They are both learning what to expect from each other, and Stow is starting to understand what he should do when he wants support from Shiro. The main things we hope she can help with are his anxiety and resultant avoidant and/or impulsive behavior. We are already seeing a big differences with these things at home and when we are out. He is more willing to go places and is less reticent in social situations. Plus, he's learning a lot about responsibility as he works to take good care of his new canine friend. 

Holding hands.

But let’s be honest, Stow and Shiro aren't the only ones being trained this week. Over the past several days, all of us have learned some things. Ren and I have learned that some dogs REALLY love to eat rocks; just how far down a dog’s throat you have to stick a pill so she’ll swallow it; what the appropriate time frame is for picking up poop before it gets consumed (ewwwwww); and that even well-trained puppies need some time to adjust. Falcon has learned that there is enough golden retriever love to go around (times a hundred!!); and that she should never underestimate the stubbornness of her beloved cats. And, Sky has learned that an early morning run with the dog is oddly refreshing and that SOMETIMES it's ok to take a risk and try something new, even if it doesn't seem all that logical.

Naptime

In the car on our way to training today, Stow forlornly worried that if he grows up his life won't be fun anymore. He cried as he thought about not being able to go places or do things together. I remember being equally scared of change when I was his age, and I still remember what my mom said to me when I had the same conversation with her: "We can never know where life is going to lead. All we can do is be grateful for all of the great things we've already experienced and keep living our lives the best way we know how. " That's what I told Stow in the car today. As a person who never imagined I would be a dog owner, much less the parent of a kid with a service dog, this has been such an incredible experience! I'm really glad my mom was right.

Everybody Needs a Rock

Dog family

The trainer told us she would arrive between 12 and 1 pm on Wednesday. When Stow gets overly excited, impulse control becomes difficult, so Wednesday morning was rough. By 7 am it was clear that he needed to stick close to me (since I tend to be the best co-regulator for him). So we loaded his backpack with snacks, some books, some markers, and his Switch, and I took him with me to my office--where I was desperately trying to hit a book deadline. (Note to self: the week of a book deadline, is NOT the best time to add a new family member.)

We came back home in time to have some lunch and watch a little TV. It didn't take long for Stow to get antsy, though, so we went outside to wait, killing the time by making bets on which car would be the one with Shiro in it. 

Waiting.

Finally at 1:03 pm, she arrived.

First walk.

The plan was (is? ugh, grammar is hard!) for the trainer to leave Shiro with us for ten days while we all get used to each other and figure out various family dynamics. That way, when it's time for final training, we will have a much better idea of what our challenges will be and can problem solve them before the trainer heads back to Canada. So, after some introductions and some chatting and some quick tips, we found ourselves home alone with our new 9 month-old pup.

We are now officially a dog family. 

Look at those eyes!

Life has been a bit chaotic ever since. If you've had a dog, you know what I mean. Since I'm new to this whole dog thing, I STILL don't know what I mean. I just know that our sleep schedule has changed; the pup is so smart that she seems to be testing us at every turn (and finding all of our many weak spots); and the cats aren't thrilled. Stow has been doing an awesome job making sure Shiro is fed, let out, and walked, and it is fun to watch how happy he is to have the unconditional acceptance of another living being. 

Calm.

Helping Stow finish his book. Lol.

That said, Stow is also struggling with the fact there has been a change. Change, whether it is good or bad, almost always equals more meltdowns. Fortunately, nothing seems to faze Shiro, who can chill just about anywhere. 

We're working out the kinks right now, but in the end, I'm pretty sure this is going to be amazing!

One More Sleep

 A little less than eight months ago, following a series of happy coincidences and the support of a large network of friends and strangers, we learned we would be getting a service dog. Never in a million years did I think it would work out for Stow to get a service animal. And it seemed even MORE unlikely that I would want to live with a dog! Still, here we are, one sleep away from Shiro's arrival, and we are a combination of excited and nervous. 

Shiro countdown clock.

The past few months have been up and down. Right before his tenth birthday, Stow was bitten on the face by one of the neighbor dogs just as the bus arrived to take him to school. Fortunately, he only needed a few stitches, and the scar is barely noticeable, but the experience made him fear dogs in a way he didn't before. (It also totally traumatized me since I was the one who encouraged him to go say "hi" to the dog we knew, unaware that the other dog being walked by our neighbor would get jealous and fight for Stow's attention. Ugh--what a stupid parent move on my part!). Anyway, it took a couple of months to help Stow through his new fear of dogs and to convince him that Shiro would never behave like the neighbor dog had.

Smiley Shiro pictures helped, though!

More recently, we have been rearranging rooms to find the right space for Shiro's crate and her doggie bed, and we've been making last-minute trips to the store to make sure we have the food and other things she needs. 

Ren and I got ourselves a dog bath for our birthdays.

It turns out I know almost nothing about caring for a dog. I've been texting the trainer, and I've been texting our neighbor (Winnie's mom), and none of my questions are intelligent ones. What's the difference between a training treat and a chew? What kind of shampoo does a dog use? How often does she need to go out? Will she get along with the cats? Then there were the questions I didn't even know to ask. Did you know that dogs like to eat cat litter? Glad I got the head's up on that one because I am pretty sure I don't want any puppy kisses after Shiro has snacked on "kitty crunchies!"

Shiro left on her journey to our house yesterday. We weren't sure they would be able to make it through the Canada/US border due to COVID restrictions, so all of us were thrilled when the trainer sent a picture of Shiro's first moments in the US. Updates from the trainer have made it easier for the kids to make it through the past couple of days. 

Shiro looks completely thrilled to be in the US!

One last stop at the vet before she comes our way

It's hard to imagine how our lives will change once Shiro comes to live with us. What I do know, though, is that this is our last night of not being a dog family and our last night of wondering whether or not she will love us as much as we already love her.

Thanks again to all of you who helped make this happen! We look forward to sharing Shiro and Stow's story with you!

What are these Things I am Feeling?

I feel obligated to admit that I am not a dog person. 

As a kid, the unpredictability of dogs made super-anxious me, well, anxious. And, all of my fears about dogs were confirmed one ill-fated summer evening when I was 8 when the neighborhood Great Dane, Joey, decided to jump on me as I filed past him with a group of kids headed to the back yard for a game of kickball. 

I’ll never know if Joey was trying to lick me or to bite me (though it sure seemed like the latter), but I do know his paws were as big as my face. I ended up with a puncture wound that sent me to the ER and that left me with a scar that I still have to this day. 

So, yeah, cats have always been more of my jam. 

My recent change of heart surprises me a little. I mean, sure, I tend to be a sucker for things that help the kids. And, I know that kids with autism respond positively to animals. Plus, I’ve done a lot of reading about autism service dogs, so logically, I understand that a dog can probably help Stow. And, logically I also understand that all dogs are not Joey. It makes sense that I’m willing to get a dog to help my kid. I’d do absolutely anything for them, after all. 

What surprises me is how much I already love Shiro and how much I am to looking forward to having her join our family. I know we will have to do a lot of adjusting. Sky is sure this is all a terrible idea. (Guess who doesn’t like change?) We’ve never had a dog before, much less a dog that is almost as big as Stow, so I get Sky’s anxiety. He’s having trouble wrapping his head around how Shiro will be a family pet if her job is to help Stow. Plus, dogs are so different than cats. Cats don’t need to be let outside to take care of their business. They don’t need walks or baths, and our cats could care less if we acknowledge their existence most of the time. Shiro is going to be a whole other story, and since none of us are great with change, Sky isn't wrong to be nervous. 

Even so, I’m excited about this dog in a way that I haven’t been excited about anything in a very, very, VERY long time. Every picture or training update we get makes August feel impossibly far away. I’ve already started ordering things we need for her and would set her crate up in Stow’s room right now if I thought it wouldn’t totally confuse him and cause him months of frustration (until a couple of days ago, he thought Shiro would be here in June just after his birthday--concepts of time are hard for him). Whereas I can live with my feelings of excitement and anticipation, I also have to be careful not to trigger his. 

Since I can't start setting things up or talk about her with my family very much, I will tell you guys instead. I AM SO EXCITED AND CANNOT WAIT UNTIL SHIRO COMES!!! And, these feelings confuse me. How in the world do I find myself almost 50 and falling in love with a dog for the first time?!?

Here are some pictures of her. I’m dying with how sweet she looks. 

And, look at her being such a good girl during her training:

Seriously, how could you NOT fall in love with this dog?

I’m sure Shiro will teach us all a lot. She has already taught me that it’s never too late to change and it’s never too late to find new and unexpected joy. Even if nothing else comes of this exciting opportunity for Stow and our family (though I’m sure it will), Shiro has taught me more than enough!

Here's my original post about Shiro. Check out how much she's grown!!

Waiting for Shiro

While I haven't talked about this as much on my blog as I used to, we continue to live with autism (surprise!). Some days that means amazing things, and some days, frankly, are very difficult. (Insert long parenthetical about how admitting some days are difficult does NOT mean I don't love my kids. As far as I am concerned, they hang the moon and NOTHING can compare to their awesomeness. That said, with autism comes a host of real challenges like anxiety, struggles in school, aggressive meltdowns, the inability to manage social situations, depression, and a whole bunch of other things. THOSE are the things that make living with autism difficult.) Struggles with language and social skills means that kids with autism constantly work very hard just to get through the day. I am not autistic, so I don't know what it is like, but I imagine it must be like living in a world with rules that don't make any sense and with people doing unexpected things and making demands that seem completely arbitrary. I also think it must be completely overwhelming for the senses. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle that nearly as well as my kids do.

When Sky was younger, the interventions we did with OT and speech therapy seemed to help. With Stow, similar interventions have not yielded the same result. The two boys are clearly wired very differently. So, we have tried a host of different things with Stow with limited success. If you are a special needs parent, you often find yourself seeking to solve problems even when you don't know all of the variables. That has been especially true with our experience with Stow, and we are always looking for clues. 

Often the clues come from the most unlikely places. Our most recent clue came in the form of new neighbors and the sweetest dog on the planet (the neighbors are pretty great, too). The dog is a miniature bernedoodle called Winnie. She's still a pup but very well-behaved and a huge fan of our kids. The feeling seems to be mutual since every time Stow sees Winnie outside, he insists that we go say "hello" (sorry, new neighbors!). For the first month they lived here, Stow watched for Winnie like a hawk. Given that I'm a bit shy, it was awkward to constantly appear whenever the new family was outside (seriously, I'm so sorry!). One day, after a particularly hard morning, we got outside to wait for Stow's bus just as Winnie came out to do whatever it is that Winnie does in the morning. Stow, who until that point had been saying that he would absolutely NOT be going to school, locked eyes with Winnie, and his demeanor immediately changed. Clearly, Winnie was connecting with Stow in a way that people often don't.

Later that day, I posted this picture of the two of them looking at each other. A friend who has a son with autism suggested we look into getting a service dog for Stow. I responded that I HAD looked into it, and my understanding of the situation was that either Stow wouldn't be a high priority for a dog or that we couldn't afford the cost of one (they cost between $35,000 and $50,000). But, then another friend replied telling me to reach out to her directly, and soon one thing led to another, and we found ourselves on the road to getting a service dog.

One of these pups will be Stow's service dog.

We're working with an organization called Dawgs2Heal that trains and places autism service dogs. We've been selected to receive one of their 2021 trainees and are in the process of raising $10,000 to help pay for the training. 

A few weeks later, and they are all fluffier!

We learned that we will have the chance to name Stow's service dog, and miraculously everyone agreed on a name. We will call her Shiro, which a fairly common dog name in Japan. We chose it because Shiro is Momotaro’s faithful companion (in the well-known folktale), helping him on his long journey to defeat the ogres. We hope and believe that Stow's new service dog will be an equally brave, faithful, and helpful companion. Also, we already have two cats, Momo and Taro, so how could we not have a Shiro?

Momo (R) and Taro (L) have NO idea what is about to happen to them. I felt guilty, so I got them their own castle. Lol.

Lastly, I wanted to share this note that Stow left for Santa. I've included a picture, but since he struggles some with spelling, I will type it out here: "Dear Santa, I know I was bad, but I will love you if you forgive me, and please leave a note. I hope you finish your travel. PS: Love you. You are amazing. I hope you give me good luck for the dog."

This letter is so heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. Kids with autism and ADHD struggle constantly with a fear of being in trouble for "bad" behavior. One of the most moving things about peoples' positive response to our service dog fundraiser is that it has shown Stow that there are a lot of people out there who don't think he's bad at all. I would love to give him the gift of knowing we are getting Shiro for Christmas.