Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Things You Should Know about Me--or--Epic Procrastination Attempt #2

1. I don't need much sleep.

2. I met my husband in a hospital in Japan.

3. My worst parenting moment: Flying to Japan when Pink P was 7 weeks old, the flight attendant told me I couldn't put her in the bassinet, so after a week of no sleep (due to packing and moving), I couldn't avoid falling asleep while holding her. Next thing I knew, the guy across the aisle was handing her to me, saying, "I think this is yours," and I was like, "Ur..thanks."

4. I started studying Japanese because it seemed hard and I was bored.

5. I played tennis and basketball in high school. I play tennis right-handed and basketball left-handed, and even though the motion is essentially the same when serving a tennis ball and a volleyball, I do one right-handed (tennis) and the other left-handed (volleyball).

6. I have 37 watches including one from China which has a waving Deng Xiaoping and one from Switzerland that has edleweiss and cows (a true Swiss watch!). My most expensive watch is an antique handed down to me and my newest is a G-shock which is solar and has wave receptor so I never have to wind or change batteries again (which is good since most of my 37 watches have dead batteries).

7. I swore I would never marry a Japanese man.

8. I have had two knee surgeries and two broken ribs. Both injuries happened on the same day (May 26) seven years apart. I still feel a little nervous leaving the house on this day.

9. I am using deoderant that expired two years ago. How bad can it be?

10. I like to hike (except when I have just broken two ribs and somehow have to get back down the mountain).

11. My favorite trail is the East Inlet trail in Rocky Mountain National Park out of Grand Lake, CO. Because, look:

12. I once rode a bike 50 miles through the mountains in the rain for pizza. Fortunately, I was able to hitch a ride home with the Pizza Hut waiter, though his car had a hole in the floor board.

13. I have been to 14 countries and 44 states.

14. When Sky started Catholic preschool in Tokyo, his sign of the cross was left shoulder, right shoulder, left butt cheek, right butt cheek, with a little shake of the hiney. I didn't correct him on this for a long time.

15. I can play the guitar, the clarinet, the piano, the baritone, and the shamisen--none of them well. In fact, some would say I can't really play them at all.

16. I drink way too much diet soda.

17. When I taught in Japan, I had my own TV show. Of course, it was for the local TV station which only reached about 3000 viewers and featured farm reports and festival music.

18.  I once convinced a room full of Japanese people that we celebrate a national fart day in the US. This is probably my worst cross-cultural moment. Luckily, most of them were drunk and didn't remember it later.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Random Reminiscences from Tokyo

Since I can’t get back to Japan this summer, here’s a post of random thoughts from my last trip there. (We can subtitle this post: MOE Procrastinates on Her Dissertation)

There nothing quite like pushing a stroller through a crowded train station with a 2 year-old sitting in it singing at the top of her lungs.

Spicy Korean Beef and Mayo Pizza. It is always a long ride home with a large pizza on the back of the bike!

Japan: The only country where a red-bean-paste bun named Anpanman can be a super hero! My favorite thing about Anpanman is that he tears off part of his head to feed hungry victims in distress.

There is nothing like a book on Japanese mothers and the obento lunches they create for their preschoolers to make me feel astonishingly inadequate as a parent.

I can't decide which will disturb my son's pre-k teacher more, his claims that the holy spirit blows his hair or the picture he drew in class of a train careening off a cliff into shark-infested waters.

Towelkets are an interesting concept. Is it a towel? Is it a blanket? It’s neither, yet it’s both.

Japanese women don't tend to leave graffiti on bathroom stall walls. This makes the "postings" in the library bathroom about the height of the door hooks particularly amusing. Too bad I'm not an anthropologist. Maybe then I could figure out why the women who are too short to reach the hooks don't just go to the main office and file a request.

Furtively drinking my diet Coke in Japanese university libraries always makes me feel like a wino.

A machine that washes & then dries clothes automatically is a great idea; too bad it only holds 5 articles of clothing and takes 6 hours to finish a load.

I don't want to know what is in that Puccho yogurt candy that makes it so chewy.

"Moo-moo White Fanta" with its low calories, high calcium, and delicious fizz would not sell well in the US. Carbonated milk, anyone?

It will be a long time before the restaurant manager at the Sunshine City McDonalds gets over the guilt of serving my 5 y.o. a bug in his french fries. Upon discovering the bug, he wept (loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear), and when the manager came to apologize, he said through his tears, "I don't like bugs. Only stag beetles. Now I can never, ever eat french fries again.”

I hope to never spend another Saturday at Sanrio Puroland. Think Hello Kitty times a million.

With judicious use of tape and staples, my 5 y.o. has been taking origami to a whole new level at his Japanese preschool. Today he made one that sounds just like a beating heart when squeezed.

Dear Korean Tourist Ladies in Tokyo, Though I am flattered you think my kids are cute, please don't descend on them and start rubbing their heads. Frankly, it makes them think you are very, very strange, and I would hate to run over you with the stroller. Also, it is not cool to bridge the communication divide between us by asking via wild hand gestures whether I am pregnant. I'm not.